| I have nothing else better to do then to document my life as of this exact moment: Work: I've been at my current job now for over a year...infact it was a year in April. I have two weeks paid vacation and I have to use them before I cut my hours back to part time. I can't continue to work full time and go to school the way I would like.. and for a while I felt stuck in a pickle. Sometimes people come across this super easy job where you make a lot more then most people your age.. but then you get stuck in that routine and way of living that makes it hard to stop. I need to stop. I work at a job a monkey could do. It's fucking pathetic, not to mention there are three 50+ men who look SO out of place and it's not like they can go back to school or anything. So after accepting the fact that I am going to have to budget more, I wasn't all that worried. I will have to give up three things I don't really want too: Health insurance. Paid vacation. and full paid membership to any gym in San Diego. I can always take Tazz out for a run, no problem there. I have free health and dental care through the Native American Health center, so that's no biggie either. and i'll just use the 2 weeks paid vacation before I have to cut back my hours. I can manage, I remember what it was like being a waitress (the pay at my resturaunt was AWFUL) Just as long as I can pay for my car payment, insurance and gas.. i'll be good :D School: Still working on my GenEd. I keep going back to art, i'm sure i'm ment to work in the art field. Social: I've dissapeared for the last 6 months from pretty much everyone who I use to hang out with and party with. I've been settling down. Trying to find other like minded photographers, painters, artists, writers. Like this guy (http://www.myspace.com/bincebajanix) and IB. Oh, amazing. I didn't know how great the art scene was here. I never ventured out that far before. Other then that, Laura Ashley is still my bestie and that's all I really need. Financial: Workin full time. I'm doin well. As you probably know.. i've just recently bought myself a new 2008 Ford Focus. I don't know what else to say, I waste a ton on my lame boyfriend right now.. which leads me to my next section... Love: I'm better off alone. I'm never satisfied. I should give him some credit though, I never have had a love like this one before. I really did think it was something, and I might be wrong.. it could still be something. I'm just a lame ass and.. is it so goddamn hard to ask for a boy who is equal in life as I am? come on.. it's not too hard, get a job, work, make money, have a car, go to school (or be a loser, but atleast abide by the other two.) I just want someone who wants a future too.. and maybe with me. So despite the fact that he could be labeled as a total bum, ... i'm having a hard time saying anything nice. UGH!! deadbeat...but he has good intentions. Home Life: I'm still living with the mother and can't wait to move out. I feel miserable when i'm out and about and see cute dishes or beautiful flowers I want for a table that I don't own in a house or appartment that does not exist anywhere else but my imagination. I agreed to live with her for another two years until she sells the house. I also agreed that I don't have to pay rent. I still take care of her, which is a pain in the ass might I add, but that's life. I would never wish this situation on a single soul, you would never want to be stuck living with a sick elderly woman who adopted you and now you're stuck taking care of her. cleaning, dishes, laundry, sweeping, watering, scrubbing. it's all me. I guess it's better then HAVING to work to pay rent. In total, I am right where I want to be. I would love to take my two weeks and abundance work saved money and take off for a while, but my deadbeat boyfriend is poor as shit. fuck. I hate you. |
Man, I haven't written in here in forever.
